One of the classic books on getting your way in negotiations is called Getting To “Yes” It’s important to understand how to come to an agreement and convince someone to help you out, but the equally important flip side is learning how to say no. We all spend a lot of energy figuring out the most efficient ways to get things done, when the best way to avoid being overloaded is to avoid new tasks you won’t be able to get done.
It’s easier to say no when you put requests in context. Small favors and quick new projects aren’t much on their own, but saying yes to every single one can leave you burnt out and stressed. To understand how all your small commitments add up, you have to know what you’ve already agreed to do. That’s where the ubiquitous capture part of Getting Things Done comes in. Make sure you keep track of everything you’ve signed on for, so you can make realistic decisions about new work.
Do your best to say no early in the process. It’s easier to turn a job down right away than it is to tell someone you can’t finish it after you’ve already committed. It can be hard to say no to someone who’s bent on “Getting to Yes,” but you’re saving their valuable time and doing them a favor by being crystal-clear about what you can and can’t handle.
If you enjoy what you do and strive to make people happy, it’s natural to want to say “yes” to everything. It can be hard to switch from that mindset to a policy of saying no by default, but there are ways to make it easier. For example, if you have a new work page on your website, be honest about the likelihood that you can actually take on more projects.
Someone who really gets this right is Chris Pearson, the designer behind the wildly popular Thesis WordPress theme. His bio page prominently features the following polite-yet-firm message regarding new work:
Unfortunately, I must inform you that I am not for hire.
I’m not saying that Chris doesn’t still get unwanted email from people trying to hire him, but I’m sure he gets a lot less of it because of that single sentence. The takeaway from all of this: be honest with yourself and others about how much you can handle, and you’ll save a lot of time and hassle.
Do you have your own effective way of saying no? Let us know in the comments.
Jay is a freelance writer based in Seattle, WA. He blogs about software for Download Squad and contributes interviews to Geek Monthly magazine, among others. You can also find him on Twitter.
Photo Credit – biscuitsmlp
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saying no by putting things in context is a good way. Also saying that it is better for you if I dont do it cause I have already too much on my hand or because I dont find it interesting…